Tom

Turns out, this was worth the long drive.

Tom had never been to Flannel Anne’s before, a faux 60s diner in the heart of Hermit’s Rest. He didn’t really care about the décor; it was calling back to a time he had no connection with. However, the food was crazy! He’d never had a burger with a runny egg as a topping, but the way it mixed in with the aioli and ketchup…he was in heaven. Also, the company was excellent.

Across the booth from him was Kat, wearing a floral yellow dress, her hair curled and bouncy, her eyes smoky and mysterious.

He was ashamed to admit he hardly recognized her when he picked her up, but he stole as many glances as he could driving down the highway.

It often felt like there was little purpose in leaving Blackstone; it was small but familiar. But with a cheeseburger in his hand and a beautiful woman smiling at him…maybe…

She isn’t here for you.

Right, it wasn’t a date. He had to stay on point.

But maybe he could linger in the moment, just a bit longer.

“You said you had it all figured out?”

Tom sighed; the moment was gone.

“Not all of it; the whys are still missing, but…”

“But?” Kat asked, hands folded over her untouched fries.

“But I think I get what’s going on with Rodney.”

Kat sat back and stared up at the white ceiling.

“You think he’s still alive then?”

“I don’t know, but when I went back to the locker–”

“You said you wouldn’t,” Kat snapped.

“I know what I said, but I wasn’t sure I had enough to go on.”

Kat’s narrowed eyes softened.

“You’re going to get caught.”

“Yes, I know,” he said apologetically, “but if I hadn’t gone back, I wouldn’t have found this.”

Tom reached into his bag and pulled out a small, leather-bound journal.

“Is that a diary?” Kat asked, reaching for the book.

“Yes, I think so, but it’s hard to really tell.”

Kat leafed through the book, coming to the same conclusions Tom had.

“Barely any of this is in English.”

“Yeah, some of it is in code, other bits are Latin, I think…”

“And this?” Kat asked, spinning the book around to show a crudely drawn circle full of symbols and numbers.

“Yeah, I can guess at what it is, but not what any of it means.”

Kat’s food was getting cold. He should have just asked her out…

“We might not know what it says, but this is crazy stuff… dangerous stuff,” Kat said, closing the book. “This is like a terrorist’s manifesto.”

“Except it wasn’t written to be understood. I don’t think he’s looking for fame or recognition.”

“Then what is he looking for?”

“For the truth, or whatever he thinks the truth is…and”

“And?”

He laughed; they had a rhythm. It’s too bad they weren’t building it over something less grim.

“He wants the truth…and your aunt.”

“Yeah, because she’s at the center of this,” Kat said quietly, almost to the room itself.

“He thinks she is at least.”

“Right…”

“Did you tell her?” Tom asked, trying to keep an even tone.

“I did, sort of…she doesn’t seem to be taking it seriously. Told me to stop looking though, doesn’t want to police using me as a scapegoat or something.”

“And me?”

“I didn’t tell her where I got the pictures.”

“But she’s—”

“Smart,” Kat cut in, “and probably figured it out.”

“Well, then I guess that’s it.”

Kat squinted at him.

“No, it isn’t. I need to figure out how my aunt is involved. She might not be worried about Rodney but I am.”

“And by I you mean, we?”

“I didn’t want to assume,” Kat said, smiling at him.

“I couldn’t let you get into this on your own. Besides, I still haven’t found Rodney.”

Kat opened her mouth to speak, then closed it and looked away.

“What?”

“Promise you won’t judge me?”

“What position am I in to judge, anyway?” Tom said, laughing.

“Why do you care?” Kat said, looking down at her plate. “I mean, it’s nice, but you said you weren’t friends…”

“No, we weren’t,” Tom said, his chest tightening.

You can’t keep hiding from her.

“You don’t need a reason,” Kat said, waving it away. “It’s great, selfless even, and—”

“No,” Tom interrupted, “It’s anything but selfless…”

Tome brushed his bangs out of his face. Breathed in deep and let it out slowly…anything to keep the anxiety from taking over. Anything to stop his worst qualities. From letting cowardice win.

This is when I lose her.

“I bullied him…I was his bully.”

Kat’s eyes widened. She said nothing, but she was going rigid, cold.

“Not just him…I was the king of my tiny school, and I lorded that over everyone. I flirted with all the girls, even in front of Becks… and I made life hell for guys like Rodney.”

Tom took a drink of water…his mouth was getting dry, and it was harder and harder to speak.

“Rodney never said a word about it to me at work. I thought it was because he felt sorry for me. When Becks broke up with me, I lost, well, everything. But now I don’t know. Maybe he always saw through my shit.”

“So the reason Hayden is cold to you is…”

“Yeah, him too.”

“Right… and Lucy?”

“She knows, one of the few people who doesn’t care…or thinks I’ve gotten better.”

“Have you?” She spoke, her tone sharp like her eyes.

Tom wasn’t sure what to say. He hoped he was, but…was that wishful thinking?

“I’m trying to be,” he said honestly. “I was a real asshole…and I’ve definitely got the life I deserve.”

“Hey now,” Kat said, taking a drink of her milkshake. “I was a loser in school, and we’re basically living the same lives here.”

Tom laughed.

“No, I was the loser; it just took becoming an adult to see that.”

Kat shrugged.

“Well, either way, if you keep working at it you’ll win over the ones you can.”

“And the ones I can’t? How do I get through to them?”

Her face went rigid again. A seriousness she couldn’t hide.

“Those are losses you have to accept. We aren’t owed forgiveness…that isn’t how it works.”

Tom nodded, suddenly unsure who she was talking about.

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